642: Write Facebook Statuses for the Year 2017

This is part of my 642 series:

-The plasma beacon in my iPhone 9 is totally gorbled.  I’m going to miss the free hologram concert in Millennium Park.

-Justin Bieber has not aged well since the divorce.

-Just lost a bet, Abe Vigoda is still alive and doing well.

-Raccoon Fever is going to make Swine Flu look like a hiccup.

-Obviously, NASA identifying a species of crabs on Mars is amazing, but what do they taste like with drawn butter?

-Do these plastic pants make my ass look big?

-Remember hipsters and their old timey mustaches?

-Fiscal Armageddon?  I remember when it was just a cliff.

-I lost count, which Kardashian husband is this?  Like the seventh?

-RIP Best Buy, I’ll remember you as the big box store that smelled like sadness.

 

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